One reason it's hard for me to make new friends...

I recently made an interesting discovery about myself: I feel uneasy around quiet women.

I thought I was just uncomfortable with quiet *people* and that it had something to do with my extrovertedness. I think it's also because I don't know what's going on in their head and that worries me. (Interesting note: it's also one reason I don't like animals.) It's hard for me to "click" with them, relate to them, and converse with them.

But then as I was talking with Hubby about it, I was listing some examples and we realized that everyone I listed was a woman. I can think of several quiet, reserved men who I'm perfectly fine socializing with, not the least of which being my husband!

Apparently I just don't like quiet women. It's probably because of my own insecurities! If I don't know what's going on in your head, that means I don't know what you think of me. I don't know if you like me. I need to know if you like me. I need to know if this friendship is going places. I need to know if I'm insufferably annoying and should just go hide under a rock.

I want to know if other women like me, but it's not important to me if other men enjoy my company. I already snagged a guy (introverted and contemplative though he is) who has convinced me that he loves me and wants to spend eternity with me; I don't need any other man.

So there you have it; a little revelation of the inner workings of Shirley's twisted, self conscious mind. Anyone else feel the same way?

Goodbye Gift for Primary

I've been teaching the same kids in Primary (Sunday School for children) for about 1 1/2 years. I've now been released from that calling and am going back into the Nursery. I am so excited because working with the 18 month-3 year olds is my favorite. But these kids I'm leaving behind are my buddies!  I decided I needed something fun to give them on my last day.

"To an *Extra* special kid,

It was an *Absolute Joy* being your teacher!"

On the back I taped a small picture of the Savior.

I know these kiddos are in good hands, and I'm looking forward to the next adventure, but I'm really going to miss teaching them each week!

Are Leprechauns Real?

The morning of St Patrick's Day, Secundus excitedly rushed into our bedroom to tell us all about the amazing discovery her sister had made. The night before, the kids made a leprechaun trap and when Primus got up she noticed that the leprechaun had cleverly used a piece of yarn as a bungie cord to retrieve the chocolate gold coin bait without getting caught in the trap. Secundus showed us the picture that her sister had taken of the evidence: the piece of yarn, the ball of yarn the "leprechaun" found in our craft basket, scissors, and the coin partially unwrapped and nibbled.

We called Primus in to interrogate her. We were sure that she had sprung the trap in order to keep the magic alive for her siblings. She denied it and convinced us she was telling the truth. After interviewing the boys, I was starting to freak out. (Yes, I'm gullible. And I hate horror movies. They *could* be real!)

We then brought Secundus back in and her smile as she entered told us instantly that she was the leprechaun. I'm very impressed with her sneaky creativity in tricking her siblings! She was the first one awake that morning and didn't want the other kids to be disappointed that there was no leprechaun evidence. It really was sweet! I can't wait to see what happens next year!

You've Finished DISTAR...What Next?

I've spoken several times about how much I *LOVE* Distar ("Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons") for teaching my kids to read before or about Kindergarten. But once they finish that 100th lesson, what next?

I like to do 3 things with my little ones once they are graduates of our favorite reading curriculum: sight words, phonics readers, and random phonics/early reader worksheets.

Sight Words

I'm a fan of the Dolch lists. Here's where I got my lists and record sheet. Dolch is 220 sight words that are divided into 9 groups. A Google search will take you to a ton of sites providing flash cards and game ideas to help your child memorize the words.

I require my child to read the word correctly (with no coaching or sounding-it-out) 3 times over the course of 3 separate (not necessarily consecutive) days. Once he's done that successfully, then I mark that he's mastered that word.

Depending on the child's need, that may mean we spend a couple days playing flash card games and then spend a day quizzing him on as many lists as his attention span can handle. Tertius, being an active boy, did really well when I had him run back and forth in the yard between practicing each flash card.

 My kids loved to see my record sheet get filled up with dates showing their progress. When a word or whole list got crossed off, we celebrated!

Phonics Readers

I have a ton of random phonics readers. There isn't one particular series that I like more than another. I've just collected them over the years from various thrift stores.

We've checked the BOB series out from the library a couple times, and I guess it's widely respected, but we hated it. The pictures were boring and ugly. After getting through Distar, with one simple drawing per story, my kids are ready and eager to read books that actually look like fun books.

Grandma let Tertius borrow a big anthology of classic Dick and Jane stories when he was ready for them and that was great! He felt so important carrying around his big book that was just for him and being able to open it up and show off how far he had gotten.

These little books get read as often as the child has interest. Typically, since we have so many of them and we're eager to move on and read new stuff, they only read each book to me once. I never wanted my kids to think of reading as a chore. Phonics readers are short and rewarding and a great way to reinforce the phonics they learned  in Distar and the sight words they learn from Dolch.

Phonics/Beginning Reader Worksheets

I always seemed to have these random Kindergarten workbooks around. I'll find them partially used at thrift stores or friends will give them to me after doing only a couple pages with their own little ones the summer before Kindergarten. I've also found fun ones at the dollar store.

Usually, pages that teach or reinforce things like letter sounds, blends, and rhyming are completely unnecessary after completing Distar. I still have my little ones do them sometimes though, just because it's fun to have an easy page that they can be successful at and feel smart. Also, much of my big kids' curriculum is in the form of workbooks so this way my little ones can feel like they're doing important work like their siblings.


As I always say, every kid is different. Do what works for your child and go at their pace. Have you tried something that your new reader has loved or been really successful with? Share below!

This is How We Survived the Flu

Our family (excepting Hubby) hardly ever get sick.  Thankfully the children appear to have inherited my healthy immune system (good genes combined with breastfeeding for the win!)  Unfortunately, the flu got us this year.  In order to get everyone healed as quickly as possible, I had to stay organized.  

All four kids had a comfy place in the living room so I could keep an eye on all of them at once.  We draped the couches with sheets to keep things clean and cozy and they watched movies all day.

Each kid was given their own gallon size ziplock bag with their name written on it.  Inside they had plenty of applesauce pouches and whole wheat fruit Newtons to snack on.  I figured these would be easy things to digest, they're reasonably healthy, and we don't buy them very often so they seem like a tasty treat.  On the outside of the bag is where I write when they were given medicine and their temperature.

To keep them all hydrated, I kept the fridge and their sippy cups filled with flavored water.  It's clear (so I don't have to worry about stains when it spills), reasonably healthy (not as much sugar as juice or soda), it's carbonated (we like something with bubbles when we're feeling upset tummies),  and it's a yummy treat that we rarely buy so they'll be interested in drinking lots of it.

Thankfully the flu wasn't too severe for us (headaches, fevers, fatigue, a little bit of puking on the first day, coughs) but it was enough to keep us holed up in the house for about a week.  These strategies made things a little easier.

To Those Who Aren't Allowed to Complain About Infertility

Dear Sister,

You have a beautiful child (or a few).  You have been so blessed!  I know you're grateful.  And I know you wish and pray for another baby.  Yet, for one reason or another, you're experiencing secondary infertility. I'm so sorry!

Hopefully you've surrounded yourself with good, kind friends that would never shout you down if you were to confide in them the ache you feel when you long to hold another infant of your own in your arms. However, you probably don't share with them your grievances because they've experienced the pain of miscarriages, primary infertility, or infant loss while you haven't.  You don't want to sound ungrateful for your fortunes, and you would never want to contribute to their pain!  If your friends have had it much worse than you, you're probably used to being the designated supportive listening ear. I hope you have the right friends that will compassionately take a turn being your listening ear once in a while.

Do you cry when you remove the too-small clothes from your youngest child's dresser?  Or when you see the storage boxes of baby gear and toys taking up space and wonder if you should just pass them on?  Do you get teary eyed when you hug your child's head to your chest and remember when their entire body used to fit there?  Or when your littlest one plays sweetly with someone else's baby and your heart yearns for them to have a younger sibling of their own? Do you sob while watching your favorite show, Call the Midwife perhaps, and wonder why you keep torturing yourself like that?

Complicating things further, perhaps you're like me in that you're so poor it could be argued that having another baby right now would be incredibly irresponsible.  At the same time as you're praying for a miracle you must worry about how you would even announce such happy, hypothetical news when others will likely criticize you. But even the fear of their judging gaze and your tightly stretched bank account usually aren't enough to stop you from praying, is it?

My dear sister, you are not alone. I'm so sorry that you carry around this burden, especially if you feel like you can't reach out to others for support.

The only advice I have is to continue to turn to your Heavenly Father.  He knows you and loves you. I don't know why you have to endure this trial, but He does. We just have to hold onto our faith and trust that whatever plan He has for our lives, that it is the best for us and our families.

 I know that he knows me and that means he knows what I need to learn and the best way for me to learn it. I know that when I turn towards my Heavenly Father and Savior in times of doubt and pain, instead of angrily turning away from them, then I am blessed, strengthened, and comforted. I hope you can also find peace!

Sincerely,
Your Empathetic Sister