Feeling Crazy

I found this old, unfinished journal entry from December 2014.  I enjoy reading these little moments-in-time.  It's always a good reminder to me that "This Too Shall Pass!"


I'm feeling a little...off...this year.

I broke me ankle near the fourth of July and it seems like I just can't get my head or house straight since then.  Because I was laid up with limited mobility for so long (the amount of time I spent in a splint and then a boot was ridiculous and a story for another day perhaps) the backyard in particular got totally out of control.  Normally, Hubby is in charge of mowing the grass and I keep the covered patio tidy.  Well, Hubby isn't a fan of yard work and tends to procrastinate it anyway.  The summer heat doesn't help, either.  The kids just weren't being encouraged to go play outside, which means less motivation to keep the grass trimmed.  And since the kids weren't playing outside, I procrastinated organizing and sweeping the patio even after I was more mobile.  Then it reached a point where we were reasonably sure that we had black widows in the backyard.  We get sprayed for them regularly, but we've had a problem with them in the past so if I don't keep the hiding places cleaned out, I start to worry about spiders making themselves at home.  So at that point, the kids were actually forbidden from going in the backyard, which means it just got worse.

Poor Secundus has a summer birthday, very close to my accident, so that birthday party just didn't happen.  I finally got off my butt and got to work making her a cake and pinata and planned a party at the beginning of October (!) at a park for family. And with the holidays and important events to think about, I feel like I'm still 3 months behind.

I finally got the backyard under control but not in time to do a fall Tent Town, we put a lot of time and love into helping with an early November wedding, we didn't harvest our pomegranates soon enough and lost a lot of them, I'm planning an anniversary party for the beginning of the year, I'm staying really busy with making chocolate dipped pretzels to earn Christmas cash, I totally spaced on Hubby's graduation coming up this weekend, the girls recently had tech week and performances for their theater class, and I just wish I could cancel school until February.

Now here we are, with Christmas only 10 days away and we still don't have our tree up.  It doesn't feel like Christmas yet but we're running out of time!  I feel like I'm on a train that I just need to stop!

To make matters worse, when I get stressed out like this, I fall back into my old co-dependent type habits and thought patterns.