Marriage Counseling

Many years ago we hit a low point in our marriage.  We saw an LDS Family Services counselor a few times.  Hubby really didn't like her and didn't see the value in seeing her.  So finally one day, minutes before our appointment, he refused to go see her anymore.  So I went alone.

That was the last time either one of us saw her.

She basically told me, "Why are you still married to him?" and as good as told me I was justified in divorce.  I was confused and sad and in despair, and then horrified.  When I came home in tears, Hubby wrapped me in his arms and said, "I'm so sorry!  I knew I shouldn't have let you go."

Our problems didn't justify divorce!  Though we both had faults and were currently struggling, we were both committed to keeping our marriage eternal.

Perhaps she was trying to shock me into action or use reverse psychology.  If that was her goal, then I suppose it worked.  But all the same, we were angry and hated her!

Thankfully, over the months and years after that awful appointment we were able to heal, forgive, and strengthen our relationship.  (Perhaps the biggest thing that helped us was the progress I made in my own relationship with my Heavenly Father with the help of the 12 Steps and my support group.)

So why do I share this?  I suppose the lesson here is, if you don't "click" with a therapist, find a new one!

You should also look for other ways to find the help you need.  We have been blessed by the support of a different therapist, Bishops, a Visiting Teacher, the aforementioned support group, and dear friends. But above all, we can attribute the current success of our marriage to the fact that each of us made a choice to improve ourselves and our situation.  We were able to change with the help and guidance of our loving Heavenly Father and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  To them, I am eternally grateful.

For more information about where and how to find the right support for you and your situation, the following link is wonderful.

Spouse and Family Support Guide, chapter 6, "Thy Friends Do Stand By Thee"