Handshake Hilarity

I asked the following sincere question on my Facebook: 

"Handshakes. I've heard people say that they prefer when someone offers them a firm, strong handshake. I've never heard anyone say, 'I love it when I get a handshake that is mostly all fingers and very limp.'
"Question to people who give handshakes like the second scenario: I'm curious, what is your thought process?"


Here are the hilarious responses my friends had.  Enjoy!

"Here, hold these"

 I go for a solid handshake, but am careful in case it is a softie... I don't want to have my kryptonian strength crush their bones...

"Do you like noodles? I like noodles....."

Maybe they never really had a solid handshake role model.

"Do you like noodles? I like noodles....."

"Wanna feel a dead fish? I just washed my hands."

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to feel awkward for the duration of this handshake!"

"I keep my hand in a glove full of lotion just for moments like this..... Just the one hand."

"I'm going to make you question whether I'm weak or if you really are that strong."     

"Now kiss the ring you peasant!" 


For some reason, the last one is my favorite.   I have such witty friends.  Thanks, guys!